By: Heather Seebach
Full disclosure: I don't have a penis. So when I say "gave me wood" I am in fact referring to my metaphorical girl boner; and seeing as Cheryl "got wood" in the original Evil Dead (ouch), it seemed a fitting choice of words...
Shit, where was I?
ASH VS. EVIL DEAD!! The sequel we all hoped for (but never actually believed would happen) finally has a trailer!! And if my Facebook feed is any indication, the world is having the same reaction as me to this new trailer. That is to say, I necronomi-came in my pants!! Here's why:
1) Ashley J. Williams
Duh, right? Everyone's favorite smartass loser is back in top form! Ash still has the shit-eating grin and the one-liners. I love that he still works as stockboy in a retail store and lives in a trailer. He's the same lazy ladies man he was 30 years ago. Chances are, he's even more selfish and cantankerous than he was then...I can't wait! As for his deadite-slaying skills, well, some things you never forget...
|Yo, she-bitch....let's go!|
2) The Icons
Being a Sam Raimi fangirl, I get "thirsty" just looking at that 1973 Oldsmobile Delta 88! "The Classic" is very much an iconic part of the Evil Dead franchise - hell, it's practically its own character! S-Mart seems to have been replaced by ValueStop which will no doubt be explained. Furthermore, we get the chainsaw, the boomstick, the Necronomicon, and Ash's iconic blue shirt, which he seemingly wears under his work uniform at all times - I LOVE that!
|The Classic Look|
3) The Gore
The trailer is not without a bit of digitally-enhanced gore but overall it looks fantastic and practical! Thank fuck this series is on Starz so the showrunners can go all-out with the nastiness! True to the original films, there is gallons and gallons of grue! And true to Sam Raimi's twisted fetish, that blood is typically being regurgitated into someone's mouth/face. Personally, I'm hoping for a ridiculously oversized blood flood Evil Dead 2 style!
|You got a little something on your face...|
4) The Deadites
While I did not hate the look of the deadites in 2013's Evil Dead, I am overjoyed to see this installment return to the classic make-up style. Just look at that old she-bitch in the photo above - she's got deadite Linda's stance down just right! Looks like we can expect lots of extreme camera angles and blowing wind as well! There IS one strange exception in the trailer...
|Is that you, Doug Jones?|
Looks far more like something out of Resident Evil than Evil Dead, no? I'm assuming it's some sort of deadite. Per Army of Darkness, we know they can take on strange, non-humanoid forms (winged demons and whatnot), so I am open-minded. Whatever it is, it's scary-looking!
5) The Raimi Effect
Sam's been giving us teases of his old tricks in Spider-Man 2, Drag Me to Hell, and even Oz The Great and Powerful but now he gets to play in the bloody sandbox again, if only for one glorious episode. The trailer alone is chock-full of Raimi's hyperactive style, including that amusing montage of Ash's squeezing into a corset. I suspect the majority of the footage we see in the trailer is from Sam's premiere episode. It's loaded with his influence, from the old lady's finger nail aimed for someone's eyeball, to the killer plastic doll. Sam's cornball sense of humor is quite intact and I can't wait to see him play with this world again!!
|Don't swallow her like you did the mini-Ashes!|
Needless to say, the trailer is fucking awesome and I am beyond excited for this show! I get the impression Raimi & co. are shooting to make original fans happy as well as lure new fans (note the trailer music is from the 2013 Evil Dead film trailer). I am happy with both, and I sincerely hope this series will bring joy to the bitter black hearts of all the whinging fanboys and girls (ah, who am I kidding?). Either way, I'm going to sing its praises from here til Halloween and hope it doesn't prove me wrong. Good...bad...I'm the one with the keyboard.